You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
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