Nicole vs. Life
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize