I can't watch pbs sober anymore
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Randomize
