Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The uberlube is also flammable
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize