I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
