yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
