WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
