Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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