It's like a parade of train wrecks.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Randomize
