seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize