Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
