yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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