Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
that's an acceptable place to lick
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
Randomize
