sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
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