I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
