Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Randomize
