so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
