are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
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