so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
