If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
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