Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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