to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
