So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Randomize
