So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Randomize
