Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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