dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
