last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Randomize
