Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
I hope mine doesn't look like that
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
