True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
