the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
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