Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Randomize
