The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
