but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
