My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
MIDGETS
????
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
