We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
