OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Randomize
