I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
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