Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Randomize
