I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Randomize
