Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Randomize
