omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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