i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
