I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Randomize
