Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
