His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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