It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
