Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
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