dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Randomize