Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Randomize