Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
