What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Randomize
