just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
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This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
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And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.