This dress was meant to end up on your floor
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
23 Fathers Confess The Best Way They’ve Messed With Their Daughter’s Boyfriend
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
25 Children of Helicopter Parents Admit The Most Horrible Thing They Were Put Through
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.