i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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