I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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