Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
