I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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