I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
