I cannot find my penis.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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