she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
