I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
In America we eat man semen.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
