I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize