Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
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