I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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