What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
