I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
