Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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