There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
