Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
I think my moral compass just broke
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