She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
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