I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize