He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize
