belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
