I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Randomize
