So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Randomize
